BREAKING: Barnet forces 'capture Col. Coleman'

Brian Coleman on the canapaign trail in Camden

Brian Coleman gets it 100 per cent right

The excllent, Camden-based journalist: Richard Osley, recently quoted Brian 'Mr Toad' Coleman's latest outburst:

"Surely nobody on a public demonstration needs to wear a mask"

Well, unaccustomed as I am to agreeing with the green-skinnned member for Barnet and Camden, I have to say that on this occasion I think he's hit the nail squarely on the head. Let's make it a criminal offence as soon as possible and let them feel the full force of the law. And let's start by making an example of these louts who started the trend:

Toad Rams Rams

I read today in the Barnet Times, that Robert 'scourge-of-the-arts' Rams has launched a petition to get the 384 bus route expanded.

May I take this opportunity to remind him of his dear, close colleague: Brian 'Mr Toad' Coleman's comments on such a tactic:

"On the general subject of petitions Politicians of all Parties will tell you they usually ignore petitions, as it is not unusual to have people sign petitions for and against a particular proposal!"

Oh.

Olympic snub to Barnet. But why?

The Barnet Times reports today about the distress of poor Councillor Robert 'scourge of history and the arts' Rams, who cannot for the life of him understand why the Olympic cycle race would not want to pass through the soon-to-be cultural desert of Barnet. "I find it hard to believe that the organising committee could not find an alternative route which would allow Barnet residents to be involved."

Hmmm, you don't suppose that the organising committe remember this charming anti-Olympic rant by your close colleague, Brian 'Mr Toad' Coleman do you? Click here for bigger and readable.

I suppose its safe to assume then, that Mr Toad will not be competing in the high jump. Shame. If there was a freeloading contest on the other hand....

Tip of the hat to the Boriswatch blog for scanning and uploading the full article.

No lollipops at Brian Coleman's banquet

The ever-excellent Adam Bienkov has unearthed the detail about Brian Coleman's "completely excessive" £2,338.00 lunch - paid from Fire Brigade budgets.

Keen toad-watchers will already be aware that the full-bellied, green-skinned councillor plans to axe lollipop crossing patrols for Barnet's children.

So this got me reaching for my righteous calculator of justice and my back-of-a-fag-packet of truth. Hypothetically speaking, just how many school crossing patrols could be paid for with the money Coleman squandered on personal face-stuffing?*

If we assume that Barnet's lollipop-bearers are on the minimum wage of £5.93 per hour (this is 'EasyCouncil' Barnet we're talking about remember), and if we assume that they work for 1.5 hours a day, we can calculate that they cost a total of £8.90 each day. If we then divide the cost of Coleman's 'free' lunch by the daily cost of a lollipop patrol person we can see that Coleman's lunch excesses would pay for 262 days of lollipoop patrol. Given that they only work in term time, say 200 days per year - that's more than an entire annual post - which Coleman intends to axe - in the name of austerity of course.

*I am aware that the different budget lines makes this an impossibility