Thursday, 22 October 2009

Brian Coleman and the Great Ire of London

Wednesday 22nd October 2009

Up and at the London Fire Brigade Headquarters all the morning, despite my having recently breached the members code of conduct, determining the reconstitution of committees and related matters. By and by my colleague on the Fire Authority Councillor Bertha Joseph comes in her beautiful ballgowne that she purchased with charity money. It got her suspended as a councillor but of course that doesn't stop her working with me. She goes resplendent to the window and tells me that she sees a great ire seen in the city. So I made myself ready presently, and got up upon one of the fire escapes (the one that I wish to have removed to provide for a private entrance for myself as befits my importance), and there I did see the fury of London's firefighters and an infinite great fury at that, on this and the other side of the bridge; but, it did not trouble me. So down, with my heart full of gladness, to my colleague on the Fire Authourity Cllr Tony Arbour, also recently suspended for breaching the members code of conduct - but of course that doesn't stop him working with me - who tells me that it begun with my plans for changes to Firefighter shift patterns and that it hath burned on because of my plans to remove all the beds from fire stations - as people sleeping on the job cannot be countenanced.

Having staid, and in an hour’s time seen the ire: rage every way, and nobody, to my sight, endeavouring to quench it, and having seen it get as far as my plans for the removal of diversitie officers, and the wind mighty high and driving it into my plans to remove support staff from opposition members; and every thing, after so long a drought, proving combustible, even my plans to remove my political opponents from committee chairmanships, an there burned unabated: I back to the meeting, and there did give them an account which dismayed them all, and word was carried in to Boris Johnson. At last met my Lord Mayor, like a man spent, with a handkercher about his neck. To my account he cried, like a fainting woman, “Lord! what can I do? I am spent: people will not obey me and the ire overtakes us". So I did tell Boris Johnson what I saw, and that unless I got my way, nothing could stop the ire. He seemed much troubled, and Boris Johnson commanded me to go from him, and to spare no firefighters, but to pull down each before the ire. And I gladly did as I was commanded.

So to the Haven restaurant in Whetstone, and there eat and drank and mighty merry; and so home singing, and, after a letter or two at the office, to bed.

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