Tuesday, 21 July 2009

Perturbing the police

Hold it right there Councillor Coleman!

You're under arrest for blatantly using the police as a political prop.

Now I understand sir, that you said something stupid about the woman who was backhanded twice by a police officer and then struck on the legs with a baton. You said sir, as I recall:

"Nicky Fisher turned up to this protest, which everyone said could be violent. She put herself in this situation – and lo, she was hit. It's like going gambling and then complaining that you've lost money".

As I recall, you took quite a bit of political flak for that, so tried to use cheap and nasty gimmick of your 'Commend A Copper' Facebook group to change the subject. And now that's all gone pear-shaped.

It seems that you are so despised that, to this day, that group has only succeeded in attracting to the police, the opprobrium that seems to follow you around like a bad smell. Your post about the group on the Conservative Home website drew a similar stink, even from your fellow Conservatives. If you don't mind me saying so sir, you put yourself in this situation - and lo, you was hit (speaking virtually of course). Furthermore sir, I see that some wag has now responded by setting up the 'Commend A Kipper' Facebook group, with reference to your fervour for free food.

On top of all that, I'm arresting you for crimes against copywriting, with your absolutely atrocious attempts at alliteration.

I've got you bang to rights Councillor Coleman, now I'll have to ask you to accompany me down to the station.

What's that? No sir, we will not be hailing a cab...