"Boris dislikes Brian intently"

Who would have thought I'd have so much in common with Boris?

Pippa Crerar has the scoop at the Evening Standard.

Crap Cycle Superhighways - Coleman's fault?

So Boris' big idea of London cycle superhighways kick-starting a bicycle revolution has degenerated into a crap, bus-filled, lick of blue paint on the roads. A gimmick. But hang on a minute, Boris is a really keen cyclist is he not? I'm not his number one fan by any means, but on this I believe he really did have an ambitious vision. So why has it turned out so crap? Here's some conjecture for you:

One of the favourite obsessions of Brian 'Mr Toad' Coleman - a convicted speeder - is keeping the flow of cars moving at all costs. In fact, its this similarity with Kenneth Grahame's Mr Toad that probably earned him his nickname. For example:

• Against the wisdom of RoSPA, he's had road-humps systematically removed from Barnet's streets.
• Against the street's residents, he's re-opened the rat-run: Partingdale Lane.
• Against the best interests of cyclists, he enthusiastically supported the reckless and failed policy to introduce motorbikes to London's bus lanes.
• Against the best interests of the primary school children in New Barnet, he's had a road (Coleman's Bottom) built right over their school playing field.
• Against all reason, he's been appointed Barnet's Cabinet Member for the Environment saying (depressingly, predictably) "My priorities are roads, roads, roads and roads."

Now consider this. Boris Johnson's Conservatives hold just 11 of the 25 seats on the London Assembly so one assumes that Boris will want to keep those 11 as sweet as possible. Indeed, if one were to look at Boris' recent manipulation of the fire authority, one might think that Boris is keen to go to some lengths to keep Coleman sweet - and with his nose too busily planted in the trough to cause him any further trouble.

But would Boris "I'm-not-kidding-when-I-say-that-I'm-militant-about-cycling" Johnson be prepared to dramatically water down his pro-cycling aspirations - just to satisfy Mr Toads obsession - and thereby keep better control the slippery reins of power?

Poop Poop!

PS - For more on Mr Toad's record on road safety, I recommend Mark Pack's analysis.

Boris Johnson's secret plans for fire service cuts

Leaked documents and secret plans.

As is so often the case, Adam Bienkov has the scoop over at the Tory Troll blog.

Ball gown Bertha and the ugly sisters

The ugly sisters are having a laugh.

Brian Coleman's deputy at the London Fire and Emergency Planning Authority (LFEPA), has been caught out buying ball gowns for herself with money that should have gone to charity. Yesterday, Bertha 'ball gown' Joseph lost an appeal against her six month suspension. Adam Bienkov at the Tory Troll has the scoop.

However, ball gown Bertha not only still gets to go to the LFEPA ball - she's guest of honour. As Labour Vice Chair of LFEPA Navin Shah pointed out:
"Boris Johnson the Mayor of London, Cllr Bob Blackman and Cllr Brian Coleman’s record has been lamentable on this matter. Cllr Coleman Chair of LFEPA and his Tory colleagues have not only supported the disgraceful conduct of their member, but they’ve rewarded Cllr Joseph by handing out additional £12,000 a year from public purse and elevating her to the position of a Deputy Chair of the Fire Authority."

The ugly sisters are having a laugh. At us.

The two faces of Brian Coleman

Oh look, here's Mayor Coleman posing with Mayor Johnson this morning at Ilford fire station. They were there today - not just to bask in the reflected glory of the brave lads of Green Watch - but also to bask in the reflected glory of the fire station's green makeover (solar panels, high efficiency boiler and so forth).

Now this is all very opportune, as Boris Johnson himself pointed out:
"As expectant eyes around the globe turn to Copenhagen to see whether world leaders will take action on climate change, here in London we are making a difference right now."

So there you have it - Brian Coleman's green credentials on very public display. Let the polluters tremble. Greenpeace may as well pack up and go home. Jenny Jones can stop complaining. The planet is in Coleman's safe, green hands at last. Phew!

Hang on a minute though.....surely this is not the same green Brian Coleman whose most recent London Fire and Emergency Planning Authority (LFEPA) budget recommends removing the £60,000 Sustainability revolving fund for improvements in energy efficiency schemes.

Likewise, I'm sure it must be this latter Brian Coleman who promoted road-building on school fields, car-park building on parks and who opposed plans for a wind turbine at a Barnet school trying to implement a green programme.

Perhaps the valiant defender of the planet on parade at Ilford this morning has an evil twin.

Tip of the hat to Nick Carthew for the LFEPA budget example. Thank you.

What on earth has Brian Coleman got against our athletes?

What on earth has Brian Coleman got against our athletes?

Last year he said that the entire Olympic team was 'tainted'.
Just recently he said women's boxing was 'distasteful'.
Now he's saying that national treasure, Kriss Akabusi MBE is not worth the money.
For a politician like Brian 'Mr Toad' Coleman to be so openly hostile towards athletes is always going to be a little uncomfortable for his Party. But when you consider that at the same time, Boris Johnson is doing his best to promote the London Olympics 2012, its a downright embarrassment.

As for Coleman's opinion on the value of Kriss Akabusi MBE, I must say that its pretty rich coming from such a renowned squanderer of public money. Even richer if you remember what he said a while back when trying to justify his outrageous wages and expenses claims - that if you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

You can't have it both ways Mr Toad.

Brian Coleman - an embarrassment to Boris Johnson of Olympian proportions

As the 2012 Games draw ever-closer, Brian Coleman looks set provide an Olympic-sized embarrassment to Mayor Boris Johnson once again.

You may remember his outburst at the last Olymic Games:
"If you are looking for young heroes and role models, forget the highly paid athletes who leave their consciences at passport control.....While Britain's athletes may have won more medals than usual they must remember that they are tainted with the blood of Tibetans, Falun Gong practitioners, and Roman Catholic priests"

To redden Boris Johnson's face even further, he recently put an official question to Mayor:
"Does the Mayor not think that the inclusion of women's boxing in the London Olympics is somewhat distasteful?"

No Mr Toad, it is not distasteful. Its called equality. What's distasteful is your implicit sexism - and it's not the first time.

Perhaps you are just sore that heavyweight freeloading is not to be included as an Olympic event this time around. Whatever the reason, I suggest you sort it out, or you may have to answer to the likes of the somewhat-more-tasteful-than-you, three-time ABA champion: Amanda Coulson (pictured).

Coleman's Clippings

The Brian Coleman Standards Hearing story is generating a good amount of press - some of it national press no less . Coming, as it does, on top of the Ian Clement case, this must surely be a proud moment indeed for Boris Johnson and Coleman's other colleagues.

Here is some of the latest coverage:

The Evening Standard

The Guardian

The Barnet Times

Here is the Tory Troll blog where they first read about the story.

And here is the The Barnet Eye blog that brought about the Standards Hearing in the first place.

Incidentally, the clipping at the top of this post is from last night's London Lite - but is that picture supposed to be of Brian Coleman or Roger Tichborne I wonder...